I read a good article today (here it is). It's really related to my situation these days. I felt that I'm running on a circle. I felt the weariness but I'm getting nowhere near what I want. While all the people around me already accomplished many things.
I moved up to the Capital (Jakarta) a year ago felt so determined to do what I've planned. But my plans are only sketches on papers. Nothing details and easily fades away. As I mentioned in my previous post, this results in a year of got carried away by anything but what I should've done.
It sucks, really. And facing that was all my faults, I can't stop blaming myself.
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Last Sunday (9/4), I attended this meeting about personal development (since I really want to change). I told my story to the forum, and it turned out I'm not the only one having those problems. All other attendees have similar problems, we are not happy with our current situations. We are living an unfulfilled life. We have fears of our goals. We care but act indifferent. We think we are failures.
After hours of discussion, bit by bit we discover what's really our problems and find out what's really the solutions. To me, the mentor suggested that I need to find my reason, because, apparently, I don't have a really strong "why" on doing those things. Ja, I agree, my reason was to only proving the world that I could, and that's a weak ass reason. I have this imagination of success, but I simply didn't do the work. I want the result, but ignore the process.
Knowing the "why" is not an easy task to do. Yeah, perhaps for some, they can figure it out easily. But for most people, It probably requires a lifelong journey of searching. Knowing the "why" may be the same as knowing the purpose of life. Because the "why" should be our compass. It is what we use to guide ourselves in life and achieve something.
Right, purpose of life..
Finding purpose of life requires massive self-reflection. One need to ask themselves what it is, and, since there might be several, write EVERYTHING that comes to mind.
I already, kind of, know what is my purpose of life should be. Because the fastest way to find it is through religion. I am a Moslem, thus the only purpose of life I should have is to worship God and I shall do fine in this world. One of the verse in the Qur'an says:
And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things. (QS: At-Talaq, 3)
This is actually the perfect solution. By relying on God, the burden of uncertainty about the future is alleviated completely.
Now the next question will be, how to trust?
That's another story to tell. I still have a lot to learn, and this blog will play a huge part in my, hopefully, transition.
Links worth a visit:
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